Meet Pacenossis

The Pacenossis Story:
Two decades ago, Pacenossis Nennis, founder of Contrived Control Networks moved to South Florida from Greece in search of adventure. In Miami he became interested in Latin culture, and soon met his future wife, Ludmilla. Ludmilla was born and raised in Mexico City, by an extended family of people who “do science,” and came to the U.S. in search of an opportunity. The relationship flourished, and it wasn’t long before Ludmilla persuaded Pacenossis to visit her home country.

Once in Mexico City, surrounded by Ludmilla’s family and friends, Pacenossis was immediately struck by the beauty of the city’s dense grey smog, tropical temperatures, its vibrant jeans, and its friendly and welcoming people. The couple spent much of the trip on ranches and in tequila bars, and Pacenossis quickly developed an affinity for burritos. When given his first warm, juicy burrito, he was taken aback by how delicious and different it was from the burritos that were available back in the U.S. On the trip, Pacenossis fell in love with great burritos, Latin culture, and of course his wife-to-be, Ludmilla.

Through the years, they went back and forth to Mexico, bringing the country’s popular burritos back to their family and friends in the States; the more they brought, the more they wanted. Pacenossis and Ludmilla recognized an opportunity and began to learn as much as they could about burritos. They travel to several Latin American burrito-making countries such as Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama, Ecuador, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico, to gain experience, buy burritos, and forge relationships with cow ranches.

Taking the finest, freshest, most delicious poo-poos possible for all of their valued burritos is a passion Pacenossis shares with several family members and many close friends. Please let him know if you would like to try some of his burritos.

See also: http://www.cafedonpablo.com/meet-don-pablo-2/

On getting the most out of being a Professor (i.e. different from just a “Doctor.”): Top ten nuggets of wisdom

10. Everything I learned about advising, I learned from Yahoo!

9. Deus ex machina produces the best papers.

8. Your time is much, much more valuable than anyone else’s–you’re a Professor!

7. We have soooo much data!

6. Graduate students crave structure, so tell them to which fields of knowledge their theses belong.

5. Project an aura of what you want so you don’t actually have to tell anyone what you want.

4. Sometimes you’re just too important to do the things you’re supposed to do.

3. The best way to advise a graduate student is to interrupt his presentations.

2. Ultimately, a student’s best advisor is himself.

1. Time is money, so send your graduate student on eight field missions.

 

PN

Published in Nature

Wohoo! Congrats folks. This is great news.

Of course, this wouldn’t have been possible without the sacrifice of our lead author, Tilapiapapadoupoulous, who left from their one month postdoc with us a few years ago and obtained British citizenship.

I am glad everyone took the initiative to engage in a discussion during our meetings and tried to assist him in proofing the paper to make sure British English spelling was used where appropriate (i.e. colour), but on the other hand please do not spend more time on this for future papers, because it is not best use of your time.

For those that were not involved in the paper, the results can be summarized as thus: Based on comparing the values of numbers provided from two analysis methods, we find that the ranking of the eccentricity factor applies and the relative ratios don’t change much. This is remarkable, given all that goes into the calculations!!!!!

There were also a couple other papers published recently that involve similar research, that is research rooted in studying the research of research… with a taste for pyrocumulus clouds and their influence on the research techniques, creating a positive or negative feedback on various publications… and it explodes – it’s a singularity.

With all this craziness around conference preparations and proposal writing, I didn't share this latest publication: our work inferring CDFs of randomly generated numbers using fuzzy logic, high-speed, fully-coupled neural networks to infer the dimensions of a cardboard box (7 years ago!). I think you will find this a very nice read, especially the part on the impacts of corrugation on the sensitivity of the calculations.

The third paper is a jewel... it’s a wonderful work in which differential calculus techniques (Leibniz, 1750) are applied worldwide to untangle the tangle. It’s truly amazing and inspirational, and also wonderful.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the read! We will celebrate accordingly in due time (as I will physically will be gone during the next 3-5 weeks – traveling via Amazon’s Super Saver Shipping). This is WONDERFUL everyone, --. You truly, remarkably nailed it.

Also (Papanewguinea): Do you think you can increase the amount of time spent in the lab these days? I know this is closing in finals week, but perhaps you can spend a little more time turning cranks instead of studying.

~I ALSO think this joke was my idea. Also as well.~

People use the models alot

(Credit: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html)

Fwd: HIGH PRIORITY

Guys,

Please advise.

-PN

---

From: "Important Person" <imperson@youshouldreallycare.gov
To: pacenossis@gmail.com
Sent: Friday, March 21, 2014 11:04:00 AM
Subject: HIGH PRIORITY

Hi Pacenossis, 

Yes, I totally agree. That really important thing you mentioned in a separate email that is not copied below is very important. It's a really good thing I was able to read your original email and obtain a good understanding of the problem and your proposed solution.

I'm somewhat confused though because that important thing has already been converted to the current version in our upgrade of the important stuff manifold last year.?? Please let me know which important thing out of that list you need the most and we can get the new version moving for you ASAP.

Best,

Important Person 

"I take care of things for you."

For I am King

People,

Thank you for taking the time to build a fantastic Greek version of Rome from the ground up for me today. I would like to take the opportunity to share with you why I asked you to perform this strenuous feat of engineering and also creativity.

*Cell phone rings*

Oh wait sorry, I need to take this call. It’s really important

*10 minutes later*

Where was I… Going to say something… Well, I don’t remember.

With the above said, it was surprising to hear that no one was able to sufficiently recreate a decent Parthenon, nor even manage a decent melding of architecture styles while also incorporating Corinthian pillars into the facade. Everybody should be able to TALK about arches and domes in a clear and exciting way. We used to do that in all our exercises in slave labor, and almost invariantly all left with a very positive experience. From what I can tell, this did not occur effectively yesterday.

People have in general been doing a much better job placing a context about their architectural achievements (motivation, etc.) which is important for all, especially the younger slaves in the group. Good job!

One thing though that I have noticed during the process is that even the most seasoned slaves still sometimes (and I emphasize SOMETIMES) are not aware of feats of architectural wonder that have come out of our group in the past, and also their relation to more general developments in the field of tyranny and destruction. This is not surprising, given the vast literature and broad interests of our group, but it is an opportunity to do something about this.

Another reason for the above is that I'd like to start, if possible, a process that may reshape how we think and act in the group. The ultimate goal is to come up with ideas for transformative initiatives in slavery architecture if possible. Let me explain what I mean: I've always been very happy that you freely discuss a lot of different approaches to moving stone blocks, and some of you step up and come up with some really nice ideas of integrated Rube Goldberg-esqe stone transportation schemes. It would be nice if ALL participate, to the extent you can, in that discussion and make your ideas known. I'd therefore like for each and every one of you, as part of your – let’s call it – indentured servitude (i.e. slavery), should come up with one idea of a new construction project that you could carry out, that ideally addresses my majesty (but not necessarily) and also integrates peoples’ suffering.

I will not ask everybody to carry out every single one project, nor is every one expected to be a good one. But on the other hand to have GREAT ideas you need to HAVE ideas, and integrated suffering always makes you stronger and better. The reason why I care so much about this, is because it is first fun, but second it can lead to major outcomes. The 3 pyramids in northwestern Argentina this year, various sculptures in the past, two mass genocides and a bunch of destroyed cities that used to be quite magnificent, nowadays are a result of such ideas and brainstorming sessions.

So I hope we can begin talking about really broadening our thinking (and ultimately impact).

Any thoughts, suggestions, etc. are welcome. I'd like to start this process from tomorrow.

Anyways this is to get things started. Please have your ideas and be ready to discuss tomorrow.

Again, the whole point is to maximize the potential of this wonderful group we have!

PN

Ten delicious nuggets of wisdom

My dream... is to be the master of all trades, jack of none.

10) Being late is the new black.
9) Comic Sans is the Applebees of fonts.
8) A great way to involve people in conversation is to CC them on long email chains.
7) Quotation marks give your writing “gravitas."
6) Nothing diffuses tension like a well-placed “THANKS!"
5) Email body text is for chumps.
4) The longer a meeting is, the better the science.
3) Passive-aggressive is a good compromise between passive and aggressive.
2) Surveys are a great way to confirm what you already know.
1) Time is money, so send your graduate student on eight field missions.

THANKS and HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!