On getting the most out of being a Professor (i.e. different from just a “Doctor.”): Top ten nuggets of wisdom

10. Everything I learned about advising, I learned from Yahoo!

9. Deus ex machina produces the best papers.

8. Your time is much, much more valuable than anyone else’s–you’re a Professor!

7. We have soooo much data!

6. Graduate students crave structure, so tell them to which fields of knowledge their theses belong.

5. Project an aura of what you want so you don’t actually have to tell anyone what you want.

4. Sometimes you’re just too important to do the things you’re supposed to do.

3. The best way to advise a graduate student is to interrupt his presentations.

2. Ultimately, a student’s best advisor is himself.

1. Time is money, so send your graduate student on eight field missions.

 

PN

Published in Nature

Wohoo! Congrats folks. This is great news.

Of course, this wouldn’t have been possible without the sacrifice of our lead author, Tilapiapapadoupoulous, who left from their one month postdoc with us a few years ago and obtained British citizenship.

I am glad everyone took the initiative to engage in a discussion during our meetings and tried to assist him in proofing the paper to make sure British English spelling was used where appropriate (i.e. colour), but on the other hand please do not spend more time on this for future papers, because it is not best use of your time.

For those that were not involved in the paper, the results can be summarized as thus: Based on comparing the values of numbers provided from two analysis methods, we find that the ranking of the eccentricity factor applies and the relative ratios don’t change much. This is remarkable, given all that goes into the calculations!!!!!

There were also a couple other papers published recently that involve similar research, that is research rooted in studying the research of research… with a taste for pyrocumulus clouds and their influence on the research techniques, creating a positive or negative feedback on various publications… and it explodes – it’s a singularity.

With all this craziness around conference preparations and proposal writing, I didn't share this latest publication: our work inferring CDFs of randomly generated numbers using fuzzy logic, high-speed, fully-coupled neural networks to infer the dimensions of a cardboard box (7 years ago!). I think you will find this a very nice read, especially the part on the impacts of corrugation on the sensitivity of the calculations.

The third paper is a jewel... it’s a wonderful work in which differential calculus techniques (Leibniz, 1750) are applied worldwide to untangle the tangle. It’s truly amazing and inspirational, and also wonderful.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the read! We will celebrate accordingly in due time (as I will physically will be gone during the next 3-5 weeks – traveling via Amazon’s Super Saver Shipping). This is WONDERFUL everyone, --. You truly, remarkably nailed it.

Also (Papanewguinea): Do you think you can increase the amount of time spent in the lab these days? I know this is closing in finals week, but perhaps you can spend a little more time turning cranks instead of studying.

~I ALSO think this joke was my idea. Also as well.~